B E H I N D / T H E / B A R

Have you ever felt like life is living you, rather than you living life?  Like your circumstances are dictating what your day to day life looks like?  I feel that way from time to time.  Been there lately.  Living from one urgent need to another.

I find myself walking through a significant amount of transition right now.  On any given day I find myself giving mental attention to wide variety of issues.  Budgeting for Christmas with Kristia, ordering inventory for our coffee shop, meeting with lawyers and accountants about new ventures and business transitions, praying for members of our community of faith, to sitting in the Sam’s parking lot waiting to get milk for the shop (which is where I am right now.)

If I’m not careful, I will let life live me.  Putting out fires.  Taking care of this and that, and suddenly I find myself feeling overwhelmed.  Sometimes to the point of physical exhaustion.  I have a little condition, where my heart will simply just start racing without any provocation at all.  WebMD says that among a wide variety of causes of “supraventricular tachycardia” we can find stress and too much caffeine.  Hmmm.  Well I had one of those little episodes last night, and besides the fact that its freaky uncomfortable, it was a wake up call.  I haven’t been living life, life is living me.

So here I sit waiting on Sam’s to open – me and Carrie Underwood singing “Jesus Take The Wheel,” on repeat.  Maybe that’s a little cheesy, but that’s been my prayer this morning.  Never prayed to a country song before.  But I did this morning.  I had an honest conversation with Jesus and that’s basically what I said, “take the wheel. . . I can’t do this on my own.”  Cool thing is, I have the strongest sense that He’s here, right here in the car with me.  Waiting on me to move out of the driver’s seat.   You see when He invites you on a journey, He’s never expecting you to drive, He’s wanting you to let Him drive, and you ride in the passenger seat, live the life He’s called you to live.  Otherwise life just lives you.

So yeah, I’ve felt a little overwhelmed lately.  But after 35 years of living in a life of faith, I still have to be reminded that I need times, regular consistent times, daily times, where I sit with Jesus, and tell him, “I’m letting go,”  “Take the wheel.”

So I write this post as much for me as I do for you.  As a reminder to live life, and not let life live me.  But if you can relate, you feel like you’re being lived rather than living, then pull over out of the fast lane of life, and ask Him to take the wheel.  Then move over into the passenger seat, let Him drive, and you just enjoy the view.

Gotta go get milk.