Roy came in today. He looked lost. He hasn’t slept well or at all in days. His wife passed away unexpectedly three weeks ago. Since then he’s been trying to make sense of life.
Now that she’s gone he’s going to have to pay more than he can afford to stay in their apartment. She had been approved for government assistance years ago when he was in jail. He can’t afford that kind of rent, he would take his entire check from Social Security.
“I don’t know where to go or what to do,” he said. He rides around town on his bicycle. Lost. He’s literally carrying his wife’s ashes with him.
“I don’t know what to do with my cats, I can’t take them with me, if they kick me out.”
Bouncing from one random thought to another, he asked me if I would do a memorial service for her. “I don’t even know what that looks like,” he said with tears running down his cheeks. “She deserves something, I’ve never done this before” His voice cracked.
He’s coming back tomorrow. We will talk about what her memorial will look like. Today, we talked about where she is now and he said, “Man, I need to know more about that place, I wanna be where she is when I die.”
“I want what you folks have. You have something. . . joy . . . hope. . .I don’t know what it is, but I want it.” I told him that the hope I have is because of my relationship with Jesus, and the joy, well that comes from the assurance that this life wasn’t all there is. We talked some more and then we prayed. And then. . . right there in the back of Cadence, Roy decided to walk in that same relationship with Jesus as well.
He came in lost. Lost for what to do with himself, lost for where to go and how to live. He still has questions, and uncertainties. But he’s not lost anymore. No, God walked into Cadence today, and found him. He found Roy! In the middle of hurt, and loneliness, and grief, He found him, and it was beautiful.
“Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now I’m found, was blind but now I see.”