B E H I N D / T H E / B A R

My personal faith walk over the past several days has been truly an uphill climb. More than one night lately have I been awake- wide awake in the middle of the night. Thoughts and questions, filled with uncertainty, even doubt, and lots of fear have been my midnight companions.

I’ve felt distance from God. Even found myself feeling disappointed and downright frustrated with His apparent delay in responding to certain circumstances.

Then there is the self doubt and condemnation. I truly can be my own worst enemy. Convincing myself that I am chiefest the cause of my own problems.

Honestly, I feel like I just sat down on this uphill road. My prayers have been surface level and routine. Drawing encouragement from Scripture was not my first response. I could almost feel myself slipping downhill rather than pressing through.

I shared with my family of faith last night that I just wanted to have one night of complete sleep, in fact I asked for prayer that I would do just that.

This morning, I woke with the assistance of an alarm clock for the first time in days. I slept all night long. I got up and found a comfortable quiet place and allowed the Word of God to encourage my heart once again.

My path ahead today is still filled with much uncertainty and plenty of opportunity for fear and doubt. But in the quiet hours of the morning I can say, I’ve been with Jesus. He’s spoken His words of life into my heart and I can keep climbing.

I pray you will do the same.